The day before the farewell

I have been dreading this day. And yet it came.

One positive thing about facing such separation : Alex pays more attention to me, and literally gives in more lol. For instance, I did something that would have annoyed him and warranted a lecture from him, but instead you could see him actually breathing in heavily, and letting it go. Hahaha...

So how did we make the best out of today?

As usual, after our morning routines, I prayed for him and saw him off... 

Then it was straight to simple house chores like doing the washing, drying them in the sunroom,

ironing Alex's shirts...

Once all those were done, I got ready, sprayed on the very important sunblock (really really essential in New Zealand) - Broad spectrum, SPF70+ , before I took a 15 minutes walk to Countdown.

One thing I love about doing shopping here - 

SELF SERVE CHECKOUT!

Once I came home, it was time to start that MUCH LOATHED stage, called 'packing'...

I really dislike packing.

It makes the separation feel so real... and I admit I was quite down during that particular process :'(

At least, I know I be bringing these goodies home which would 'hopefully' make some people happy~

They totally filled up 70% of my humongous luggage @_@

When he came back for lunch, we grilled leftover pork ribs from yesterday and walloped them up before I took a picture of it lol.

oh wait, I have a picture of how it looked 'yesterday' lol

YUMS!

After lunch, he went back to work,while I was onto a different project~~~

When your husband asked you to cook him curry chicken that would last him a week since you be leaving, you will do it at a heartbeat. Hence the reason why I went Countdown - to get the chicken nibbles...

Here we have 1.3kg of chicken meat, thoroughly cleaned~

And the other ingredients..

and the secret recipe to making yummy chicken curry - is that awesome A1 curry paste (bought from Malaysia)!

Sauteing the garlics and onions, lightly-fried the chicken, sauteing again with the curry paste, adding roughly 700 ml of water, getting it to a boil, letting it simmer, adding in the carrots and potatos, boiling again before mixing in the coconut milk....

...

and tada~

will only season it further tomorrow morning... This will be Alex's dinner tomorrow, and a few more days after... Poor kid :'(

After all the kitchen work, he was back from work, and we spent some quality time together, before he went to pick up our 'celebratory dinner'~

though we don't like the name of the brand, they definitely sell really yummy pizzas!

 Our super fattening and fulfilling dinner consists of:

Apple, Cinnamon, Apricot, Berries, Crumble and Custard on an original snack base dessert pizza~

Half of Lust Deluxe (Marinated Steak, Venison Pepperoni, Salami, Ham, Bacon & Smoked Cabanossi, Lashed With Béarnaise Sauce) and half of Serpant (Smoked Salmon, Spring Onion & Cream Cheese. Optional: Capers, Avocado)

and...
32 inch cinnamon sugar churros with chocolate dip!!!!

Feeling super super fat now.

We are happy fat kids lol.

Now he is watching Supernatural, while I am doing this blog entry... Later we be watching our new favourite series - Brooklyn Nine-Nine!

Though we have done this whole saying goodbye thing for so many years now, it is still hard... especially when I thought the time we boarded the plane together to come here signifies a whole new chapter of togetherness...

But I am certain that our God is real, our God is good, and our God will watch over us and guide us through these months... Our end goal is the same, our vision is the same, and most importantly, we are a strong couple who willingly admit our limitations, constantly communicate, and have been facing all kinds of adversity and challenges together.

We will overcome.

Now I shall go and pay full attention towards my husband...
Be updating more in Malaysia ;)

ps. I really do not look forward to traveling alone for more than 18 hours tomorrow (Auckland - KL - Ipoh - Taiping) @_@
pss. I wonder whether they would miraculously upgrade me to business class again...
psss. I know that's just wishful thinking lol.

Dating Myself

I have always known that getting married would mean going from just 'me' to living for 'us'.. What I didn't know was how unprepared I was to just wait upon my husband and see to his needs, especially when I have always been the on the go person. Before you judge, I am definitely not complaining. In fact, I see all the little things of praying for him before he goes to work, cutting him fruits, doing gardening with him as luxuries, even more so when we knew my days are numbered here in New Zealand in the near future. However, there are times when you just feel like having some time just for yourself, without having to accommodate to someone else's time or likes, and just be at your own pace.

I am thankful that my husband understands, and often wants me to get out of the house for a breather. And that was exactly what I did today... I dated myself :)

After seeing the husband off, I got ready, put on some makeup, and stepped into the beautiful weather~

Ahhhh~~~ I love the sun.

One of the greatest perks of living in this neighbourhood,
the bus stop to the city is exactly opposite our house!

But the bus was a lil late today... hmm..

Bus fare here in NZ probably is a lil pricier (especially if I compare it to Malaysia).. It's 2 stages from my place to Civic Centre so that was NZD3.40 for a one-way ride..(It's RM9.51 for one way okay!)

...

And...

Hello Queen Street!

I LOVE SHOPPING ALONE...
ok let me rephrase..
I LOVE SHOPPING / NOT-SHOPPING-AND-JUST-BROWSING-AROUND ALONE!

For one,
I am the type who can spend a whole hour in Whitcolls (a 3-storey bookstore), and loves entering quirky stores. Though shopping with girl friends brings a different type of fun, there is just something relaxing about wandering around at your own pace, entering any shops you like, and spending as much or as little time in the shops as you like.

I could never shop with Alex. He is a very practical type of person, the type who goes out with a shopping list and clear idea of what he wants to get. I on the other hand, if given a chance, would love to spend as much time as I want in a supermarket, browsing aisle to aisle, wondering what recipes to prepare.


So yea,

I went into quite a number of shops, mostly coming out empty handed, because things are more expensive here (especially when I had to convert everything to RM)... But I did get a few items that I quite like, not for me though... I am very stingy towards myself lol, and am more of a giver. I am the product of my dad. He too, is more of a giver. For instance, I saw this unicorn pen that I really like. It was NZD3, so at the back of my mind, it is more than RM8, which to me is not worth it for a pen.

Then, I saw this cute stationary which I knew a friend of mine would like, and it was NZD 15.

And I bought it.

lol.

Yea...

After walking for quite a bit, I saw this cute cafe, called The Shelf.

The decor is really interesting but I didn't snap pictures of it.. Basically its filled with shelves, decorated with all sorts of quirky pieces.. and has different layouts and seating~

I made my order...

and was given this..

short wait later, came my Flat White and possibly the best blueberry cheesecake I have ever had~

People watching, doing reflection, going through my usual mobile reads, sipping a cup of fragrant coffee, taking small bites of my creamy cake.....

I really enjoy this lil coffee date with myself.


Pampering our own self once a while is really important.

Instead of just lugging ourselves through the days to make meets end, or getting distracted by things around us, or going through life pleasing everyone but yourself,

it feels really good just to have that time and space, even though just for a couple of hours,

to pay attention to yourself,
to love yourself.



When was the last time,
you dated yourself?

Bullies...

The anonymity provided by the internet has been abused in many ways by bullies to feel invincible when attacking people.

Be it spreading rumours and lies,

condemning and judging,

expressing ill intentions,

inflicting hurt and so on.

It irks me all the time when I see comments left on publicly-available pictures that are just vulgar, distasteful and downright mean.. Worse still, when those comments are directed to innocent babies or people who has no connections with them whatsoever, and whom I believe in no ways would have provoked them to make such horrible remarks.

Human nature can be such a scary thing.

When there are no consequences, and being able to hide behind the screens, humans can be real horrifying.

Relating to this topic, I remembered how I was once bullied too... not 'cyber'ly, but physically.

I was five, in a kindergarten.

There it was, an empty swing out of two in the whole kindy, which I happily sat on, swinging away... Next thing I know, came a group of bigger kids, pushed me down the swing and laughed at me when I cried. They too snatched my little bag and took out my colour-pencils from the box, picked out the pretty colours and left me with yellow, white, and green (I can even remember the colours T___T ).

When we went back to class, the teacher asked us to colour a picture... With only those three colours, I remembered how I coloured the face on the man in the picture with yellow (instead of the more acceptable 'orange'), and the teacher scolded me in front of everyone....

I was too young to stand up for myself, or to even realise how I had been unfairly treated by the teacher then. But whenever I remember this past memory of mine, it challenges me to NOT be that teacher. In fact, I always have that innate fear of misjudging my students, or not giving them the benefit of doubt. Yes, it does mean that I get taken for granted and lied to at times, but in this world where we are taught not to trust anyone, I still want to offer a listening ear.

It's a weird feeling that I have right now. In seven days I be leaving this home of mine, and my husband, to return to Malaysia. A week with my family and settling stuff, I be going back to being a teacher in Gua Musang. It freaks me out when I start to dwell on what people would comment and think of my coming back because they actually gave me a farewell party despite me telling them I was on an unpaid leave (they strongly believed that I would resign after my unpaid leave and be settling down in NZ for good)... Then I realised, I care too much about what people think of me, and should just aim to please my God.

As my dad said, my return this time is a tour of duty.

I know I be serving my people,
I know I can teach,
I know I can help out with the church ministry back home,
I know I am doing what I could for the future with my husband,
I know my God is in control of my circumstances...

and I know I can once again be, that teacher who listens...

I look forward to holding that marker pen, standing in front of a class / pretending to be as young as the kids lol.

(I did the 'tongue' in 2012, before Miley Cyrus made it viral)

Good job honey!

 

we have done 3 months of marriage!

To more days, weeks, and months and years to come!!!!!!!!!

 

#prayformh370

With the whole world buzzing about the disappearance of the flight, my heart sank and I am quite overwhelmed by unexplainable feelings...

I felt disgusted by the awful speculations and blaming by self-proclaimed experts;

I felt sad for the close kins who are probably worried sick or in limbo;

And I felt vulnerable.
Something like this does not only happen in movies and series that we loved to watch. Something like this could happen, to me, to you, to anyone.

While there are many people who sensationalises the situation, I for one, was given the wake up call...

With only slightly more than a week to go, I will have to bid goodbye to my husband and possibly see him soonest in 2 months, or latest in 8. Though knowing how hard it would be, never have I thought that could be my last farewell.

How silly it is for us, though well aware of the fragility of life, we tend to think that we will not die, at least not today.

It is so easy to take things for granted, be glued to screens, live lifelessly, or only to 'exist'...

How many of us can say, if the Lord decides to take us home today, we have lived well and finished our race?

How many of us can be proud to have today as our last day on earth?

As my heart and prayers go to those in the flight and their families and friends, I also promise myself to appreciate the privilege of being alive, to love to the fullest , to be the best that I can be, to be a lighthouse for the Lord.

I'm going to hug my husband tighter, and to tell my parents I love them...

The need to be needed

The title of my entry perfectly sums up my all-time feeling.

Maybe it is because I am the eldest in my family, have been brought up with certain expectations and instilled strong sense of responsibility;

Maybe it is pride;

Maybe it is the fear of being useless or unproductive...

I would always have that nagging feeling inside, of needing to be needed.

It doesn't help when my husband is really independent and capable of household duties.

It sure doesn't help that I was unable to contribute financially to the household bills.

And it definitely wears me out that I was unable to share the emotional stress and pressure that Alex has to go through except for praying for him and supporting him in the little ways that I could...

The funny thing was, I used to think that maybe I love Alex more than he loves me. I mean, I was willing to endure the challenges, took an unpaid leave, and followed him all the way without actual reassurance of financial stability or comfort.

But after experiencing and knowing what he has to go through, just to be with me; without the support from the ones that matter to him.. or how much pride he had to suck in and bury, and all the pressure he places on himself to give me a good life...... I just feel so overwhelmed, with thankfulness for him.

Too bad,

When I started to really find my place in this new land, when my service was actually needed, I had to leave.

I love going to those free English classes and bible studies on Friday and Saturday, because I knew I was really helping those new and old migrants to learn English. And after an impromptu request of me to help translate and interpret the testimony of Eric (from China) who had just been baptised, I began to receive more requests for translation in other occasions :)  And to be recognised and told that I was an asset to this new church and they are sorry to see me leave, gave me a sense of pride and joy - that I was needed after all.

It is so easy to feel insecure of your own worth. Though I know that Christ makes me whole, my human self made me doubt myself at times. Being rejected even from minimum wage jobs added to those self-doubts too. Thankfully, I know Christ will continue to watch over us, I have an amazingly supportive husband who is ready and willing to go through all odds with me, and my parents whom I can always count on - to feel like their little girl again.

On a side note,

I am preparing myself mentally as well as resourcefully to rejoin the teaching force in Malaysia.
If you have any great teaching ideas, songs, links or any related stuff, please share with me. I will be really grateful for that :)

Marriage 漏满地 #6 - The Husband, The Troll

As I mentioned many times before, my husband is a real joker beneath all the disguise. He makes me laugh so much sometimes till tears come out...

One thing I realised, since we got married, we been so comfortable with each other (perhaps too comfortable) that we have no 'culture' or restrictions between us... and the most fav thing that we do to each other is... farting. AND GOSH DO WE FART A LOT. hahahaha.. We have so many fart-wars, but still is funny every time hahahaha...

For instance,

When I woke up, he came rolling over me, hugging me close... and before I could enjoy the early attention, he did this ridiculous loud fart, which I could feel the vibration!!!! And while I shouted at him, he continued to pin me down with his body weight, claiming that he is protecting me from the smell hahahahahaha....

Real life example of 'you jump, i jump. you die, i die.' lol

..

And then there was another instance,

He woke up before 5am because he wanted to go to the men's prayer meeting. I just continued to snuggle in the warm covers.... And just when I was stretching myself, letting out some sounds... HE CAME RUSHING IN, TURNING ON THE LIGHTS AND SAID 'YOU CALLING FOR HELP?' in his exaggerated pitch.

Thanks to him, I was blinded by the sudden surge of lights, laughed uncontrollably and couldn't get back to my beauty sleep.... @_@

..

And then there was an incident yesterday.

We were watching a show while munching on some snacks..

Suddenly, he turned to me and went..

"Oh, my love for you is...*cheesy cheesy stuff... and more cheesy stuff*...."

and I JUST LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED...

"What's so funny??? Why are you making fun of me??? Wooohooohooo.."

still laughing with tears in my eyes, I dragged him to the mirror...

and he finally see what I saw..

instead of being self conscious, he continued on and on with his cheesy antics, flaunting those sexy teeth and making me laugh till I was rolling on the carpet.. hahahaha

..

He said I am being unfair. Because all I do is expose his 漏满地ness, while I have a fair share of mine hahahahaha...

I won't deny, I fool around a lot with him too, and sometimes I can even be quite disgusting in my humour lol. But it's so hard to describe what I did because I use a lot of 'body language' and crazy moves (my close friends might have a better idea of what Alex had to go through as they had their chances of experiencing 'me' hahahaha)

and yes, I am pretty good in the fart-wars too.

there goes my pretty, ladylike image. :p