Here comes the drill...

Final few hours before the well-dreaded farewell... again...

It's always the hardest during the last night.. the anxiety.. the churning in the stomach... the thought of needing to hold and to be held while you try to cherish and soak in every single moment of it....

Then again, that's the beauty of a long-distance-marriage.

When moments as such become scarce, every single tear or laughter becomes so much more appreciated.

He had to work really long hours yesterday with quite a lot of mental turnmoil happening to him... Real estate is definitely a tough business to be in... So I was home, praying for him and occupying myself in ways I know, just to lessen a lil burden for him...

To my great surprise, he dropped by home around 3pm (during a 2-hour gap before his next appointment) with these...

... from my new-found fav bakery :)

My man, he is big on Love Through Actions. The biggest reason why I love him so much!

Then it was back to work and dealing with difficult buyers and vendors and even colleagues for him... While I waited patiently at home, prepared dinner, and waited nearly two hours for him to be back, heated up the meal, and we had the most awesome time eating dinner while watching Games of Thrones (with me closing my eyes most of the time during this particular episode lol)..

Best part was, despite the food being a lil cold after so long, Alex told me I did a good job and personally I too think I served up a rather decent meal lol. We had roasted chicken wings and potatoes (which I marinated overnight with fish sauce, soy sauce, brown sugar, salt, chilli powder, lots of crushed garlic and sesame seeds) and a cabbage + carrot slaw (cooked with sweet chilli sauce and a self made vinaigrette)~

After a playful night and lots of teasing and chats and a restful sleep, I got up with him at 6.30 in the morning, made him his usual breakfast, sat on the toilet bowl and chatted with him while he showered and finally sent him off to work with a tight hug and a word of prayer..... Now here I am, penning this entry...

You see, LDM is tough, and not an ideal situation to be in...

But all these little things make it so worth it.

I find JOY in the waiting, in the every single little opportunities which I could play my role as a wife, being able to pray for him before he leaves home, cleaning up after cooking him a meal, whenever he surprises me with his thoughtfulness, when he makes me feel beautiful, when he sucks in his displeasure with me and lets me get away with certain things, and the list goes on...

I found gardening a therapeutic experience (only here in New Zealand shall I stress lol)...

... especially at such a charming transition of autumn/winter... 
Surrounded by fallen leaves of various colours... 
Vibrance.. 
That's the word. 

Seeing how a season is ending, my stay here in Auckland is also coming to an end.. I will be back on that plane, struggling to fill up my time during an 11-hour flight, and a further 5-6 hour bus + car trip to my hometown, back in Malaysia.

It will be a few days of running essential errands in Taiping, before going back to Gua Musang to face the many challenges of a teacher, teaching in less than satisfactory conditions and dealing with hormonal and identity-developing teenagers... 

But the good news is, with every end of a season, comes a brand new season, a brand new start waiting to be filled with amazing adventures and stories of God's works... And I can't wait to go back to my classes, energized and recharged after such a lovely break here in Auckland while knowing we are moving closer to the day that ends the distance for good...

With just about 2 seasons down the road, 

God-willing, 

Alex and I will be celebrating the same seasons, in the same timezone, on the same ground....

in a place we could call home :')

The man I married

This entry had a lot of interruptions, causing me to write... paused... saved as draft... rewrote... reedited... paused... etc.

Because, let's face it... Marriage is not perfection. And is never as simple as 'happily ever after.'

One moment I would be in cloud nine counting my blessings; the next I would be grumpy and dissatisfied because of some disagreements that we had as a married couple. In fact, 30 minutes ago I just got rebuked by Alex for not bringing him the right black belt. Yup.

We are so different in so many ways and I get upset by how particular or even anal he is about certain things...

He is so disciplined and independent that he makes me feel useless and redundant at times...

He has a sharp tongue and when he is not in a fine mood, he unconsciously provokes and snaps at people... And I know I had been hurt by the negativity that comes out of his lips, especially when he says things like 'I should have known better not to expect much from you'....or.. 'I should have just done it myself..' (Referring back to how he wants things done in a certain way and I am just not good in following instructions or doing those same chores that I do back home in his ways)..

EVEN SO,

I do know that I married an amazing man.

He has his imperfections and neither am I a saint. I am messy, impatient, clumsy, which directly clashes with his perfectly aligned routines and methods.

But his imperfections also made him the man I have no regrets in marrying.

He is so disciplined that he wakes up at 6am, gets his breakfast done, wipes the car (every single morning), does a 30-minute sit (to strengthen his posture), reads the news, showers, shaves, and prepares for work even though he only needs to leave home at 9am.


He is so disciplined that every time he comes back, he would first clean the shoes he wore (special treatment and cleaning would be done for his white Lacoste), placed them back into the box, complete with the protective layer of papers... (While I chucked the shoes wherever, running into the house)

And when I asked why would he go to that extent, while assuming that he has OCD, he merely explained that he is maintaining the condition and quality of the items he possesses... Of which becomes a really important trait that sustained our Long Distance Relationship... As much effort as he puts in to care for his shirts, shoes, cars etc, he puts in even more effort in our relationship. Not a day passes throughout the 5 years and 8 months without communication between us. Other than a few instances that could not be avoided, we have at least 1 hour of interaction (be it through Viber, Skype or whatnot) Every. Single. Day.

As fast as his tongue is, as fast he is to pacify me and cheer things up. It's either I let go really easily or he is really good at being funny lol. Somehow, I never managed to put on that pissed off face long enough before I cracked out in laughter.

I know he has a lot of things in his mind, especially when our financial situation causes strains, but yet he puts me high in his priorities. For instances,

He is a man, who would warm up the bathroom and bring my towel in before I enter to shower.
He is a man, who would take the yoghurt out from the fridge and let it warm a lil for me, before I consume it.
He is a man who finishes up any food I cooked regardless of whether it was a successful attempt, not leaving even a single grain of rice.
He is a man who would make me desserts. I especially love his baked flans.
He is a man who massages for me, especially when I have menstrual cramps.
He is a man who would looked up bus times, restaurant reviews, and sends me a comprehensive guide when I mentioned about wanting to go into the city on my own.
He is a man who makes sure I have my vitamins, and that I use the hand lotion after I do any washings.
He is a man who goofs around and plays childish tricks with me lol.
He is a man who stood by my side even when he was persecuted.
He is a man who hugs me, kisses me, and tells me he loves me every day.
He is a man who prays for me, every day.
He is a man who held on for more than five years of long distance, albeit the MANY challenges and storms, and said his vows without any hesitations...


I may not have achieved many of my dreams and my current circumstances may still be a distance away from the ideal, but while many spend a lifetime searching for the right partner, I am glad that the man I married, is the man that completes me and makes me a better person, the man I could envision a lifelong journey with.

With less than a week to go before going back to Long-Distance-Marriage, I shall savour every single waking moment, with this man I married :)

Cincaicook #1 - Valentine's Meal

When I first agreed to be a wife, one of the main concerns that I had was that I have to feed the husband, and I might poison him lol.

Though I always observe grandma when she cooks (and she is a GREAT COOK), I hardly need to prepare food in the kitchen, especially when take-outs are so cheap and accessible back in Malaysia. Even when I was teaching in Gua Musang, living independently and all, I couldn't really cook because there was no proper kitchen and if I were to wash the fresh ingredients or dishes, I have to go to the toilet... yup.. Better just pay RM5 and get a decent fulfilling meal (with drinks)!

Now that we are in New Zealand, cost of living is CRAZY HIGH! Eating out is definitely a luxury, so I had to buckle my courage and embrace my role in the kitchen lol. As I mentioned in earlier posts, my first few attempts were heavily dependent on recipes I found online, always finding myself checking my phone for each and every step... But a few tries later, I go with the 'feel' - chehwah..lol.. Still a real kitchen noob but you start to realise what are the basics, what flavours go well with what, and you learn to love playing with seasonings..

To document my journey as a noobie cook, I created an album on facebook entitled "The Kitchen Misadventures of a Newly-Wedded Wife." Surprisingly, it became something that my grandma looked forward to lol. She would tell me that my food looks good and ask me what will I be cooking next. My parents too will call me up telling me they are waiting (and have been waiting for 20 over years) for me to cook for them hahahahaha...

This is my first ever homecooked meal -

Fettuccine with capsicum, onions, and white wine cream sauce, smoked salmon and egg-filled capsicums. (pasta sauce and salmon are #cheatone lol)

and today I'm going to share my #cincaicook recipe of the 'romantic dinner' for Valentine's..

Tada!

Ok, there are a few components to this meal.. And the recipe is for 2 servings ~
So let's start with the simplest: Oven-Baked Corn

You need:
1 sweet corn, butter, black pepper, dried herbs (I used Italian Herbs from Greggs) and aluminium foil.

Steps:
1. Clean your corn. Snap it into two.
2. Spread the butter evenly and generously over the corn.
3. Sprinkle the black pepper and dried herbs all over the corn.
4. Wrap each corn with the aluminium foil, making sure you twist the ends of the ears.
5. Pop them into a pre-heated oven (Our's is set at 250 celcius) for 30 minutes.
6. Serve them when it's done :)
*the juices are sealed in the corn, making it real juicy*


Here are the steps for the Prawns Salsa Salad.

You need:
2 small red onions (brown ones won't suit), 1 tomato, 1 bunch of fresh coriander, olive oil, 1 lemon, 1 tablespoon of castor sugar, 10 prawns (clean and deveined), chilli flakes, and some butter.

Steps:
1. Diced the onions, tomato, coriander into small bits (of similar bite-size).
2. Mixed them in a bowl, and add in some olive oil, squeeze in the lemon juice and mix well with the sugar.
3. Refrigerate them for at least one hour while you prepare the other ingredients.
4. Heat your non-stick pan, put in the butter.
5. Pan fry the prawns till cooked and brown, and sprinkle on some chilli flakes.
6. Serve the prawns with the chilled salad.
*very refreshing and appetising*

Lastly,
Medium-Rare Steak with Caramelised Onions.

You need:
2 cuts of steak (we chose premium eye fillet), black pepper, salt, olive oil, 1/2 brown onion, butter and sugar.

Steps:
1. Cut the onion into slices.
2. Carefully rub the steak cuts with black pepper and salt, and coat them evenly with a layer of olive oil. Allow them to sit in room temperature for a bit.
3. Heat the pan with butter, and stir-fry the onion slices till brown. (add more butter if you want them to brown beautifully).
4. Add in some sugar (according to your own taste), and continue to fry the onions till your desired texture and colour. Then set the caramelised onions aside.
5. With the pan still buttery and with a taste of onions, add in the steak.
6. Leave it on for 3 minutes on each side. The steak will brown really fast depending on your pan.
7. Take the steak out from the pan and let it rest for around 5 minutes, then serve it with the caramelised onions on top :)

Really simple recipes that I believe are quite fail-proof lol. If I can do it, you definitely can! Give it a try!

My TOP 10 Most Memorable Moments of Our Wedding :)

Prior to this I actually composed an essay - yup, an essay of the real drama that happened behind the scenes of our wedding with my reflective thoughts. The last i checked, it was 6 pages long (on Word doc), 2467 words! lol. Then i realised unlike Wordpress where i could privatise some of my posts, i was unable to do so with blogger, so i ended up saving that essay in my draft folder, and emailed the pdf version to my parents and husband hahahahaha... Coz it was very very detailed, overflowing with my real thoughts, fear and gratitude okay.. and those 3 are my most important readers.

Once again i would like to apologise to many of our friends and even extended family for being unable to extend our invitations to all. We have our reasons, and it was a really small and intimate affair. We do hope that all of you will continue to watch over us, cheer us on when we fall, and give us your blessings~~

If I can put a description to my wedding day on 13.12.13, it will be - "His ways are always higher, a taste of God's faithfulness."

Forget about the normal bridezilla moments we see too often on chick flicks, what we went through, the amazing way God works, still made me gasped in disbelief and filled with joy.

At the end of the day, it was a beautiful ceremony, a wonderful celebration, with those who matter to us :)

So, here are my top TEN moments during the big day~

(in no particular order lol)


ONE
When my mum and grandma helped me with my wedding gown.

I actually gained weight from my Taiwan trip and was very worried about fitting into my wedding gown. Thank God for my mum and grandma who helped with the difficult dress, getting me sorted before freshening up themselves. I felt a 'moment', just having my mum carefully tying the strings for me. While I was also multi-tasking with other coordination, my heart was just filled with gratitude and emotions..

TWO

This girl flew in from Singapore, had to wait in the mall for a bit before i could get back to the hotel and arranged for her to freshen up in my parents' room.

Suddenly she came running into our bridal room, hugged me tight and started crying. Made me all mushy mushy and teary.. Love ya babe!

THREE

When the girls came all dolled up and i saw real genuine happiness that they had for me :')
The photographer asked us to act like we were talking and laughing, so we started shouting or yelling or talk random stuff in very loud noise hahahaha..

dang. I was the one laughing too hard. lol
Back to control 'ayu'.

FOUR
The walk in.

Dad and I were talking in great depth and praying that we forgot to cover my face with the veil! lol.. Everything still felt pretty surreal to me at that point.

FIVE
The exchange of vows and the rings covenant.

I was choking when i said mine. So overwhelmed with emotions.
Witnessed by men and God, we became one.

 

SIX
The very rowdy and loud tea ceremony - noises made by my very excited uncles and aunts lol

SEVEN

I prepared a special dedication for my parents, aimed to make them cry coz they said they wouldn't earlier. It was a song performance of 'You Raise Me Up' with a video slideshow to go with... Ended up I was sobbing, and found it difficult to sing some parts, and they of course were a bunch of mess lol

 

 

and daddy came out to hug me :')

EIGHT

Our father-daughter dance.

You know there will always be technical difficulties in important events? Ours did not escape the curse. But still, we had fun (despite several awkward pauses due to the broken music lol)

later joined by our family members

 
NINE
The HORLIAO speech from my dad

I think all of us were highly entertained and impressed by his impromptu speech!

TEN
the YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM-seng

At the end of the day,
No one really cares about the invitations, the colour of the napkins, the flowers etc. The people is what makes a real celebration of worth. The people who came with hearts of joy, to celebrate with us. And to all these people, we love you, and we thank you.

To our God,
once again we tasted your faithfulness and we want to glorify your name.

To my parents,
you guys are my heroes. Nuff said.

To my brothers (Joel, Joshua and Ivan),
you guys are the best. Thanks for all the behind the scenes support!

To my extended family and in laws,
your presence was very very much appreciated and thanks so much for your blessing and love gifts.

To all my friends,
i can never thank you guys enough for making my day a special one.

To my husband,
thanks for enduring everything with me, for protecting me, for encouraging me, for teaching me, for saying your vows with clarity and without any hesitation, for looking at me lovingly, for taking this great journey with me...

ps. <message for my 'facebook friends'>  for more pictures, go to my facebook :)

Marriage 漏满地 #4 - Security!

Hahahahahaha... Every time I thought about writing this in my 漏满地 series, I can't help but laugh. The randomness that comes with my husband really amazes me greatly hahahahaha..

So, remember me sharing about the annoying thing that he does? Oooh you're asking which one? Well, the one about him OBSESSED with kicking my butt.

If that was like annoying level 10, he managed to outdo himself and come out with a NEW ANNOYING habit, which is of level 392!!! (didn't rate it higher coz knowing him, he will break his record easily!)

What is this new annoying thing he does like, all the time?

Imagine,

You are just standing there, either spacing out, or watching the TV or doing some stretching... and OUT OF NO WHERE TWO ARMS COME DRAGGING YOU FROM THE BACK - WITH YOUR ARMPITS LOCKED AND THAT PERSON SHOUTING "SECURITY SECURITY! TAKE THIS PERSON OUT!!!!!"

OR

Sometimes it goes - "SHE'S CRAZY! SHE'S CRAZY!!!"

OR

"EEEEEE OOHHHH EEEE OHHHHH I'M HERE TO SAVE YOU!!!!"

OR

"BACK OFF! SHE'S DANGEROUS!!!!!"

hahahahahahahaha

I tell you. So super random OK! I wasn't even provoking him or fooling around... and he does that at the most unexpected time, dragging me from one point to another, with me laughing uncontrollably! hahahahahaha

And to those who think you know Alex, let me tell you, you never got it right. lol