Wednesday, 4 June 2014

The man I married

This entry had a lot of interruptions, causing me to write... paused... saved as draft... rewrote... reedited... paused... etc.

Because, let's face it... Marriage is not perfection. And is never as simple as 'happily ever after.'

One moment I would be in cloud nine counting my blessings; the next I would be grumpy and dissatisfied because of some disagreements that we had as a married couple. In fact, 30 minutes ago I just got rebuked by Alex for not bringing him the right black belt. Yup.

We are so different in so many ways and I get upset by how particular or even anal he is about certain things...

He is so disciplined and independent that he makes me feel useless and redundant at times...

He has a sharp tongue and when he is not in a fine mood, he unconsciously provokes and snaps at people... And I know I had been hurt by the negativity that comes out of his lips, especially when he says things like 'I should have known better not to expect much from you'....or.. 'I should have just done it myself..' (Referring back to how he wants things done in a certain way and I am just not good in following instructions or doing those same chores that I do back home in his ways)..


I do know that I married an amazing man.

He has his imperfections and neither am I a saint. I am messy, impatient, clumsy, which directly clashes with his perfectly aligned routines and methods.

But his imperfections also made him the man I have no regrets in marrying.

He is so disciplined that he wakes up at 6am, gets his breakfast done, wipes the car (every single morning), does a 30-minute sit (to strengthen his posture), reads the news, showers, shaves, and prepares for work even though he only needs to leave home at 9am.

He is so disciplined that every time he comes back, he would first clean the shoes he wore (special treatment and cleaning would be done for his white Lacoste), placed them back into the box, complete with the protective layer of papers... (While I chucked the shoes wherever, running into the house)

And when I asked why would he go to that extent, while assuming that he has OCD, he merely explained that he is maintaining the condition and quality of the items he possesses... Of which becomes a really important trait that sustained our Long Distance Relationship... As much effort as he puts in to care for his shirts, shoes, cars etc, he puts in even more effort in our relationship. Not a day passes throughout the 5 years and 8 months without communication between us. Other than a few instances that could not be avoided, we have at least 1 hour of interaction (be it through Viber, Skype or whatnot) Every. Single. Day.

As fast as his tongue is, as fast he is to pacify me and cheer things up. It's either I let go really easily or he is really good at being funny lol. Somehow, I never managed to put on that pissed off face long enough before I cracked out in laughter.

I know he has a lot of things in his mind, especially when our financial situation causes strains, but yet he puts me high in his priorities. For instances,

He is a man, who would warm up the bathroom and bring my towel in before I enter to shower.
He is a man, who would take the yoghurt out from the fridge and let it warm a lil for me, before I consume it.
He is a man who finishes up any food I cooked regardless of whether it was a successful attempt, not leaving even a single grain of rice.
He is a man who would make me desserts. I especially love his baked flans.
He is a man who massages for me, especially when I have menstrual cramps.
He is a man who would looked up bus times, restaurant reviews, and sends me a comprehensive guide when I mentioned about wanting to go into the city on my own.
He is a man who makes sure I have my vitamins, and that I use the hand lotion after I do any washings.
He is a man who goofs around and plays childish tricks with me lol.
He is a man who stood by my side even when he was persecuted.
He is a man who hugs me, kisses me, and tells me he loves me every day.
He is a man who prays for me, every day.
He is a man who held on for more than five years of long distance, albeit the MANY challenges and storms, and said his vows without any hesitations...

I may not have achieved many of my dreams and my current circumstances may still be a distance away from the ideal, but while many spend a lifetime searching for the right partner, I am glad that the man I married, is the man that completes me and makes me a better person, the man I could envision a lifelong journey with.

With less than a week to go before going back to Long-Distance-Marriage, I shall savour every single waking moment, with this man I married :)

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