and i held back my tears...

This entry needs a lil bit of a rewind.
Around 2 months ago, my principal saw me and called out to me.. Out of the blue he asked me whether i could teach Physics which of course i laughed it off. Yet he kept insisting and said he went through my files and realised that i scored , and i quote him , "a lot of As" in my SPM so i could actually teach a lot of subjects. Again i refused profusely saying that English is my core business, is what i'm trained to teach and i would love to stick to my classes. He relented in the end but not before reminding me that i should teach Physics because my SPM result is much higher than the one currently teaching that subject @_@

Oh well, that was one of the 'jokes' i kept to myself.

In the meantime, our students who were taking Chinese classes had a young replacement teacher, filling in the absence of the one and only Chinese language teacher who was on an extended maternity leave. She was an STPM leaver who needed a job while waiting for her uni applications, and due to our school as well as PPD's inefficiencies, she later found out that she might not get paid at all! Understandably she did not want to waste even more time and she resigned, bringing in another STPM leaver (a guy this time around) who only had a C in his SPM Chinese (which apparently is good enough to be a replacement teacher). BUT, the same problem that happened to her remained the same for this guy so he had been told to 'wait for the appointment letter', which of course never came. So our kids who are taking the Chinese subject had been loitering around without any teacher.

Fast forward to just about 2 weeks ago, i jokingly mentioned to my dad about the "teacherless situation" in my school as well as how my principal wanted me to teach Physics because of my SPM results... and to my utmost surprise, my dad looked straight at me and said, "Why don't you help these kids?"
I was stunned, and quickly retaliated saying that Chinese is a really difficult subject and i don't even have the confidence to teach it.
But dad replied, "Whatever it is, you got an 'A' for your SPM, and definitely better than that replacement guy. I still think you should do what you can to help those kids."
It got me thinking... And eventually i said i will pray about it.
Then the day after, i received a text from a student of mine, asking me why have i been replaced by a new teacher! Imagine my shock (i was on CRK to help sort out my brothers' placements)! I quickly contacted my Head of English Panel to inquire and guess what... our school received not one, but TWO new English teachers! And since i was away, she gave one of the new teachers my timetable to relief my classes.
For me, that was the sign.
It's really amazing how there is always timing for everything. Now that i look back at it, from my conversation with my dad to all these that followed after, God is really teaching me a lot of new things, and dragging me out of my comfort zone, really really REALLY taking huge steps of faith towards his plans and purposes for me.

To cut the story short,
I was humiliated by my PKP who assumed that i was trying to ditch my classes now that there are new teachers',
I was appreciated by my Principal who was glad that i offered to help the teacherless kids.
I had to bid goodbye to my Form 4 English classes, both of which i have grown very fond of.
I was fighting hard to hold back my tears when my Form 4 classes begged me not to leave them and even wanted to see the principal and the PKP as a whole class to keep me as their English teacher.
and now I have received my new teaching timetable.

I will be keeping both my Form 5 English classes, and will be teaching three Form 3 Chinese classes, and two Form 5 Chinese classes.

I'm still pretty freaked out with all this. Teaching English has been a pretty comfortable affair for me despite the many challenges of dealing with very low proficiency kids; teaching Chinese? Both PMR and SPM classes? I don't know.

All i could do is to continue trusting Him, pray for wisdom, and start taking those HUGE steps of faith.
and know that if i do succeed in guiding these kids to excellence, it's not me, but all Him.

Keep me in prayers too and if any one of you have tips on how to teach PMR and SPM chinese, do share with me :)