Thursday, 13 March 2014


The anonymity provided by the internet has been abused in many ways by bullies to feel invincible when attacking people.

Be it spreading rumours and lies,

condemning and judging,

expressing ill intentions,

inflicting hurt and so on.

It irks me all the time when I see comments left on publicly-available pictures that are just vulgar, distasteful and downright mean.. Worse still, when those comments are directed to innocent babies or people who has no connections with them whatsoever, and whom I believe in no ways would have provoked them to make such horrible remarks.

Human nature can be such a scary thing.

When there are no consequences, and being able to hide behind the screens, humans can be real horrifying.

Relating to this topic, I remembered how I was once bullied too... not 'cyber'ly, but physically.

I was five, in a kindergarten.

There it was, an empty swing out of two in the whole kindy, which I happily sat on, swinging away... Next thing I know, came a group of bigger kids, pushed me down the swing and laughed at me when I cried. They too snatched my little bag and took out my colour-pencils from the box, picked out the pretty colours and left me with yellow, white, and green (I can even remember the colours T___T ).

When we went back to class, the teacher asked us to colour a picture... With only those three colours, I remembered how I coloured the face on the man in the picture with yellow (instead of the more acceptable 'orange'), and the teacher scolded me in front of everyone....

I was too young to stand up for myself, or to even realise how I had been unfairly treated by the teacher then. But whenever I remember this past memory of mine, it challenges me to NOT be that teacher. In fact, I always have that innate fear of misjudging my students, or not giving them the benefit of doubt. Yes, it does mean that I get taken for granted and lied to at times, but in this world where we are taught not to trust anyone, I still want to offer a listening ear.

It's a weird feeling that I have right now. In seven days I be leaving this home of mine, and my husband, to return to Malaysia. A week with my family and settling stuff, I be going back to being a teacher in Gua Musang. It freaks me out when I start to dwell on what people would comment and think of my coming back because they actually gave me a farewell party despite me telling them I was on an unpaid leave (they strongly believed that I would resign after my unpaid leave and be settling down in NZ for good)... Then I realised, I care too much about what people think of me, and should just aim to please my God.

As my dad said, my return this time is a tour of duty.

I know I be serving my people,
I know I can teach,
I know I can help out with the church ministry back home,
I know I am doing what I could for the future with my husband,
I know my God is in control of my circumstances...

and I know I can once again be, that teacher who listens...

I look forward to holding that marker pen, standing in front of a class / pretending to be as young as the kids lol.

(I did the 'tongue' in 2012, before Miley Cyrus made it viral)

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