Saturday, 18 January 2014

Coping with differences

As much as I love to be writing more about education-related stuff, my current life revolves mainly around how to be a wife (which I plan to treasure each moment of it as we do not know when we have to go through the whole LDR again *shucks*).

Being married has it perks, but it too comes with a lot of moments and outbursts that I personally am not proud of lol. Yup, the highly romantic, optimistic, drama-less, and sweet (yes I just used that adjective for myself, coz I can :p ) Felicia, has unfortunately turned into a scary monster for a number of times.

Most of the time, we find our arguments petty and based on our differences. Not only are we talking about personality differences, but also our cultural background and upbringing.

Without a doubt, Alex is a whole lot more domestic than me - which makes me feel very incompetent at times. I'm not a spoilt brat, and we grew up doing our parts in house chores. I have washed extremely dirty places (from past working experiences), and am constantly proactive to do dishes and whatnot even when I'm the guest. But I was taken aback when I saw the variety of cleaning detergent, different cloths for different surfaces in his laundry room! So yup, needless to say, the first time I tried to mop the toilet and other floors, I messed up the clothes, used the wrong detergent (there are ones with bleach and ones without and ones with sanitisation etc) and got lectured at.

And there were also times when I messed up with the trash. Over here in New Zealand, recycling is being practised and each home is given different bins - red for trash, blue for recycling, and green for garden waste. For me it gets real tricky, especially when I deal with food packaging. the ones I thought are for recycling, should be in the trash and those I thought could be thrown into the trash bin should be in the recycle one @_@

And then, there is also differences in our perspective over 'humidity'. Yes, you read it right. In Malaysia, we are so used to humidity. I mean, we are constantly in a tropical climate, all year round. We don't use dehumidifier or open and close windows based on the humidity in the house. So while I'm fine with not opening the windows at all in the morning (as its also kinda chilly), Alex would rebuked me for not doing so and explained to me how I'm making the house humid and stuffy @_@

And then there are even simpler differences like me storing ketchup in the fridge and Alex telling me off for that. I spread jam on the bread and reuse the knife to dig into the jar for more jam and got told off again because there were bread crumbs on the knife and that I am contaminating the jam. Or even when I cut the pineapples to cuts like this to keep track of portion before storing them:

he felt they should be cut into small, bite sizes - ready to be eaten at any time.

Besides all these different ways of 'working', we are just two very different people.

I am a klutz. My nickname since young was 'Lulu' - which my family fondly used to label me when I'm being my usual clumsy self. For the record, I even once left my glasses hooked onto the V neck collar of my shirt, and threw them (glasses and shirt) into the washing machine. Yes, I know I made my point.

Alex on the other hand is a very careful, meticulous person.

I feel more than I think, while obviously he thinks more than me. The constant line he used when rebuking me is 'Y U NO USE YOUR HEAD?' lol

My biggest klutzy moment thus far was actually yesterday at Pak N Sav (a major supermarket here in NZ).
I'm not a big observer. I really don't look around unless I have to. So in Pak N Sav, they don't do plastic bags packaging. You either bring your own bags, or they packed your stuff back into your trolleys and you pushed your stuff to your cars. I knew about that, but what I did not know was how they use the trolleys.

What do I mean?

Here, let me show you a picture.

As you can see from above, the cashier, after scanning the items, packed the stuff back into the trolley. BUT, that will not be your actual trolley, instead, it's the trolley of the person before you. So technically, once you get into the line, you should go in first with your trolley behind you, unload your stuff onto the conveyor belt, the cashier will scan your stuff and put them into the trolley before you (which is from the customer before you).

And I mentioned, I don't observe, so I honestly did not know this rule.

I saw in front of me was our trolley (already emptied), and another empty trolley right in front of ours.

So being my helpful self, I went to the front and pushed that trolley away, back to where they keep all the trolleys, and everyone on our line (including the cashier and my husband) were shouting for me. And that was how I managed to embarrass us. Which in my defense, was really an unintentional mistake. That incident actually led to our biggest fight of all time.

I was so hurt when he mocked me sarcastically that I gave an ugly outburst.

Then again, when I cooled down, I apologised, he apologised, and we just snuggled and made peace.


You know what, as I looked back at all these occurrences, I can't help but just chuckled. It was true we let these lil stuff come between us, but when we eventually learn to listen to each other and adapt to each other, the disagreements just get lesser, and you find yourself being more intimate (not physically but emotionally). It's like shaving off the edges of two different piece of wood to join together, or two persons really merging into one.

And while I reflected on our differences, they are also the traits that help us to complement each other. I being the more sociable and extrovert, becomes his voice. Him, being the more rational and wise, becomes the head of this union.

There are times when I wished he would just be more 'like guys', so that I won't feel so pressured or undermined when doing the house chores and cooking; but because he is not just 'like guys', he is always sensitive to my emotions, affectionate and treats me really well.

How many girls out there can say that their guys can fix their hair, massage for them, help in the kitchen, listen to all your gossips, make you sit down to watch your chick-flick type of movie while serve you with chocolates? My husband does that! And these are just what he does on a usual basis. There are so many times when he unexpectedly does things that make me really thankful to have him as my lifelong partner, and there are times when he is just so playful and brings a lot of laughter to me.

And now he developed a habit that made me 哭笑不得 (don't-know-to-laugh-or-cry-about) ..
When we hug, he will always use his right foot to kick my butt. @_@

like this

It is so freaking annoying but it makes me laugh hysterically all the time lol.

So yea,
It's true that they say marriage is a process.
I am still learning each day, and I am thankful to be learning with him, under the guidance of our Lord.

1 comment:

  1. Wow... great sharing... thanks for ur sharing.. u teach us how to love.. human not perfect, sometimes have weakness n gudness, when we think of our love gudness than we will forget the weakness... u used to think of his gudness make u feel so blessed.. when Jesus is in the center of the relationship, he will bless ur relationship bloom up with love.. when each person argue, he will make one of us feel guilty n persuade one another.. because I have the experience on it... hehe.. anyway, love him as God love u... forgive as God forgive u.. u will be blessed.. take k ya.. God bless u..