Wednesday, 8 January 2014

What does it feel like - being married?

This question came out often with most of them leading to bedroom jokes and whatnot lol. But to be serious, what does it really feel like?

I guess I'm obviously underqualified to give an answer to that, especially since we weren't even married for a month yet, but I could happily replied - best decision ever.

And nope, I'm not trying to sugar coat the situation. In fact, our first two weeks was rather rough. You see, Alex and I were in a stable relationship of more than 5 years before taking the plunge but 4/5 of that period of time we were enduring a long distance relationship. The pros of LDR are that we have strong communication and understanding, we were built on trust and honesty. It definitely did not prepare us for the phase of living together. I think we had more arguments and disagreements during the first two weeks of marriage than our whole period of being together @_@

What do we fight over? Surprisingly, not about money (we made sure our wedding was within our means and will not get us into debts), but just getting used to fitting each other in each other's life. We came from really different backgrounds: me from Malaysia, and him growing up in Taiwan and later New Zealand. And I tell you, we do things really really differently.

But after a while, and me letting my stubbornness go, I came to appreciate that those changes Alex insisted were actually for my good and also for our lives to be better. So below are some of the changes that I did, just within this first month:

Change #1

Back home I do a lot of dishes, and we just wash them dishes with a sponge and detergent. But not here, and definitely not in Taiwan. What I did was actually the biggest no-no in his culture/upbringing. So, I now wash dishes wearing GLOVES, using hot water.

Change #2

Washrooms and bathrooms in Malaysia are usually wet. But now we have dry bathrooms, with wool rugs. Yup, had to try real hard to not damp the whole place and pick up my hair each time after I enter the bathroom.

Change #3

As hot as Malaysia is, I never bothered using the sunscreen, or the umbrella. Guess what? Every time I forget to spray myself with sunblock, I will hear no end to it lol.

Change #4

In Malaysia, we don't really wear shades. Its kinds like an accessory, and we mock those who actually wear shades. BUT NOW I WEAR SHADES ALL THE TIME WHEN WE ARE OUT. Alex kept reminding me how strong the UV rays are here and why we need to protect our eyes.

Change #5

Food. Street food, oily food, carbs, those would be our main diet in Asian countries. Now, I wake up to a glass of water, supplements, a banana, toasts with eggs, spinach and blackberry jam, and yoghurt. Yes, in that particular order, every day. Now I have become an expert in frying sunny side ups, and actually have really good digestive system lol.

And I love this whole process of learning and growing, and once we pass a certain stage, we just learn to love each other even more.

Marriage also gives you a certain intimacy and familiarity that you would not get elsewhere.
And no, I'm not referring to the what happens behind closed doors.

Intimacy to the extent that we literally fart in each other's faces, in the bed, suffocating each other and laughing hysterically about it.

Intimacy to the extent that we could make physical jokes about each other, and play it out rough.

Intimacy to the extent we could talk about anything, crying with each other, and have no judgement between us.

Intimacy to the extent that he would walk into me shitting in the toilet and say 'wow you are so sexy' hahahahaha..

okok. I know.. too much information.

So yea,
We had our downs but we have a lot of good times. And i find myself appreciating my man more each day, laughing harder at his jokes, and just loving him for every little thing that he does for me, like fetching me a glass of water, feeding me chips, playing with my hair, making me flans etc etc etc

Whatever comes our way, I'm just so thankful to be living my life with him. This year is going to be quite a year for us. We started many things in 2013, so here's to praying that 2014 will be a year of fulfillment~

Extra bits of my life:

Our Holy Matrimony was 13.12.13

and yesterday, on the 7th day of this new year, we were legally wedded under the laws of New Zealand, and the Queen :)

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